Counselling and the therapy offers a different sort of relationship because it is not an equal exchange of thoughts, feelings and topics.

In therapy the client sets the agenda. Most people take a little while to get used this idea.

The counsellor's job is to help a person explore and make sense of their issue a little better.

Through the self insight gained, strategies and coping resources develop.

An effective and professional counsellor will not aim to give advice based on their own wisdom & life experiences but will help you find and develop more personal resources of your own.
 

The first session is an opportunity to identify the sort of help you are looking for and to mutually assess whether therapy/counselling is a form of help that is appropriate for you at this time. If we decide to continue working together, we will arrange a mutually convenient day and time, for a 50 minute appointment each week.

Also at this ‘Assessment’ meeting, we will agree either time limited therapy (a fixed number of sessions) or unlimited therapy (open-ended). This will depend on your needs and the nature of the help you are seeking.

If we continue to meet, you should expect that, during a session, you will do most of the talking. This can feel very strange at first, but it is something most people get used to after a while.

Do not expect to be given a solution, or an answer; rather expect to be helped to explore the issue(s). The aim of counselling is to help you come to a better understanding of yourself and thereby identify a resolution that is appropriate for you.

Sometimes this can be achieved after just a few sessions. Sometimes it is necessary to explore a little further and gain a deeper understanding of yourself and the issues you bring. Life issues and problems can overwhelm us at times and the emotions provoked by events can get in the way of our managing our issues.

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Do you really want it to work? The obvious answer is: "Of course", but it is important to ask yourself how much you are prepared to use the help that is offered. Counselling/therapy is not something that can be ‘done to you’ and it is very easy to reject, not use, or sabotage.

Success is hard to quantify but we will regularly monitor and evaluate how useful you are finding the sessions and whether you are achieving the goals we have agreed together.

If, however, your aim is to understand yourself a little better, rather than to address a particular life issue, it may be a case of how much is enough. This is something we will review regularly.

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As indicated above, this depends on the nature of the problem, how complex the problem is and in some instances, how far back in your experiences the problem/ problems has it roots.

That said, the number of sessions is rarely less than four or five and commonly between twelve and twenty. If we agree to unlimited therapy, we will regular assess the usefulness of the sessions and agree together how long to continue.

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If you are seeking help with a relationship, it is recommended that both partners attend the assessment session together, before deciding whether to take up counselling as a couple, separately or not at all. If this is not possible, or you are sure either you or your partner is only interested in individual sessions, then it is possible and acceptable to attend on your own.

Bear in mind that it can be difficult for the partner to join in the counselling once several sessions have taken place. They can all too easily feel that they are seeing the other person’s counsellor and something of an outsider.

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Usually it is easier to respond to therapy before you feel overwhelmed by your issues or problems. However, for many people it is difficult to ask for help, or they feel their problems are not "big enough" to seek help for, from a professional and that they ought to be able to manage. People can only seek help when they are ready to do so. Some people delay because they feel they have to justify themselves in seeking therapy, or they think that it is only appropriate when matters are seriously out of hand.

More and more people are recognising the benefit of talking through an issue with someone trained to help. Only you can decide when it is right for you but you may need to challenge some assumptions, or long held beliefs, about what asking for help means to you , before you can pick up the phone.

The first session is without commitment on either side and this will be an opportunity to make a better informed decision about whether you want to continue, or whether some different sort of help may suit you better.
 

Linda Tame MA BA(Hons) is registered on the United Kingdom Register of Counselling and is a Senior Accredited Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (MBCAP).

This is the professional body for clinical counselling in the United Kingdom and ensures that it’s accredited members work under a professional Code of Ethics and maintain professional standards of practice and development.
 

The first appointment is without commitment on either side. It will be an opportunity for you to explain how you see your issue, to explore it a little to get the feel of how a counselling relationship works. It is also an opportunity for mutual assessment about the appropriateness of therapy for you at this time, or whether some other form of help may be more effective.

* Please note it may not be possible for Linda to receive your call personally. If you leave your name and phone number you will be called back. Please speak your phone number slowly.

** If you prefer to make contact by email, it will be helpful if you can indicate any times or days that you are not available.

*** Shepperton is about ten minutes from Junction 11 on the M25 & ten minutes from the start of the M3 at Sunbury Cross. The nearest railway station is Shepperton.